Posted in Home by Ashley van Houttum on 6/20/2011
I remember the day I first heard about the World Race. I remember the day I had my interview, and the day I got accepted. I remember the day I had second thoughts because I didn't think I could do it. I remember the day I broke down and told God I needed a miracle, that if He wanted me to go that He'd have to bring in the funds. I remember the day when He did. I remember the days I packed and planned. I remember the days where I wondered if what I was packing was enough, too much or if I was forgetting anything important. I remember the days I started to freak out because I wasn't ready and time was running out. I remember the night that I left and how my Pops made everything fit in my pack while I rushed around the house making sure I wasn`t forgetting anything. I remember saying good bye in the airport. I remember the months when time was going so slowly and I missed home like crazy. I remember the months that went so fast I almost wondered if they'd happened at all. I remember the days when all I wanted was normal food and I remember the day it didn't seem so important anymore. I remember the days when I didn`t give everything I had and I remember the days I gave more. I remember the days when I thought I couldn't do it anymore and I remember the days that God did it through me and gave me strength to carry on. I will remember the experiences of the past 11 months, for the rest of my life!
It seems like an impossible task to summarize the last year in a few words or even in a blog.. maybe 'cause it is. One thing that I can say is that God is good. So good and so faithful. Without Him this year would have been impossible.
Being home has been one of the hardest transitions so far. The first couple of weeks I was overwhelmed and way more exhausted than I expected. I made plans with as many people as I thought I could fit in and ended up cancelling half of them due to lack of energy and poor scheduling skills. Rather than writing plans down (which I haven't had to do for the 11 months on the race. I tried to remember everything in my head.. turns out I'm quite forgetful.) The past week or so I have been better at organizing my time so I've had lots of time to rest and get organized- such a good feeling!
It's been hard to figure out how to apply everything I've learned and share it with whoever wants to hear. It's been hard being away from my squad, my team and being away from the constant encouragement and similar mind set. It's been hard coming back into a world where people have so much to be thankful for and yet aren't satisfied and only want more. It's been hard finding time to spend with Jesus when there are so many distractions. But praise Jesus because He's been beside me every step of the way! I have a wonderful family and group of friends who support me and encourage me and my squad is only a facebook chat or a skype call away J
~
I had a dream. God had a plan to bring it to life.
This is not the end, it's only the launching pad into everything else that God has planned for me. How exciting! J Jesus is has taught me so much, but He has so much more to teach me! He has shared so much with me, but has so much more to share with me. At the end of September I will be going back to Honduras for 3 months to continue working with Tony and his ministry, An Opportunity in Honduras. (http://www.anopportunityinhonduras.blogspot.com/) I'm so excited and can't wait to continue living life with them! I have a new blogsite if you're intersted in following me: http://ashley-june.blogspot.com/
Thanks again for reading my stories, thoughts and feelings; and for supporting me through funds and prayers. You've been a blessing to me!
Ashley
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Posted in Guatemala by Ashley van Houttum on 5/9/2011
My last month on the race has been challenging to say the least. In more ways than one. On the other hand it has also been absolutely wonderful. So instead of focusing on the challenges-not always good ones- I want to focus on the goodness.
I would like to list a few highlights of the month :)
Almost our whole team piling into one bed to watch Modern Family
Laughing so hard (with my "smokers laugh" which was slightly worse thanks to my cough) that tears were pouring down my face.
Lili and I discovered how much we are alike and had fun beating up the boys
together when they would pick on us, which was all the time.
We ate a lot of food. Hungry or not. It was more like an activity- kind of like the first few months of the race.
Banana grams. (New game I learned using scrabble tiles.)
Daily having stories and ridiculous quotes from being up on the mountain with
Roman.
Laughing at lifes ridiculousness.
Chocolate bars. (Milky way-Snickers-Twix.. in that order)
Praying for and speaking life into a woman who is in so much pain and her spirits
are so grave that she can't get out of bed and then feeling the Holy Spirit change the atmosphere and seeing her walk around with a huge smile on her face.
Thrift stores :)
The view.
Knowing that I would see my family and friends really soon.
The last few days of ministry were my favorite. Ben took us to a witches cave where we witnessed people worshiping deities and got to pray over the area. We went to a graveyard that was full of mini houses that people had built for their dead. One day we got to visit a hospital and talk with people and pray for them.
We met some cute kids that followed us to the witches cave.
On the way home we picked up some local women and gave them a ride into town
We are now at final debrief. It's so surreal. I don't think my mind will fully be able to comprehend it all until I'm home. I feel excited about seeing my family and friends again after so long and yet I'm sad that I have to say good bye to so many amazing people and incredible friends. I feel so blessed and thankful to God that He gave me this incredible opportunity, this incredible journey. And He was faithful through all of it, the hard times and the good times. I guess this will be my last blog until I get home.. I think I will write one more. Once I'm home I am also starting a new blog so if you would like to continue to follow my journey please do!(I will post the link in my final blog). Thank you again for all of your prayers, support and for following me on another chapter of the life God has set out for me.
Blessings to you all!
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Posted in Guatemala by Ashley van Houttum on 4/23/2011
I haven't really felt like blogging much lately. I appologize. Maybe the 10 and a half months of it are getting to me. We're down to about 19 days before we're finished. I'm excited. Some days I'm just ready to be done. Ready to hug my family. Ready to hug my friends. Sometimes I feel guilty for being excited that everyday here is one day closer to home. Sometimes I feel guilty for wishing the days away. Some days I wonder if I did the best I could, if I put in my all or if I let the little things stop me from making the most of this trip. And some days the answer is yes to the latter.
Most days here in Guatemala I have been completely exhausted and drained. Hardly any energy for anything. A lot of us ask and seemed confused about why we are so worn out. Maybe it's because we hike up a mountain and have done hard labor almost every day this week. Maybe because it's spiritually heavy here. Or maybe it's because we're halfway through month 11. Maybe it's all of the above.
Despite being tired God has been doing amazing things in and through our team. At first I was bummed that our team would be by ourselves this month but it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. This month our team has grown closer than ever. Each day I love my team more and more. Lili was the missing piece to our team. She fits so perfectly and brings a new dimension like never before. We're a family in the truest sense of the word. We face challenges together, prefer each other, stick up for each other, seek God together and are really goofy sometimes. Feedback and movie nights have been a dogpile in Lili, Andrea's and my double bed hehe. (A couple days ago on our way to church Lili and I put our family in order: Andrea is the mom who takes care of us, tells us what the plan is and stands up for us. Jonathan is the dad who we ask for money, who tells bad jokes-picks on us and has good advice. Tracy is the oldest who is full of wisdom, looks out for everyone, pushes us into more and can get really goofy. Nathan is the second oldest who gives great hugs, stands up for us, calls us into more and has really stinky farts and is slightly rebelious haha. Next is Jess who is a trendy, hardcore-savage woman that loves Jesus so passionately and speaks life and truth. Last but not least, Lili and I- the twin "babies" of the family. We are mischevious, giggly, have matching rain jackets, and we stay up late watching ridiculous shows that everyone else thinks are lame. And we both sleep in the double bed with mom-so comfy, warm and safe.)
Some of the things we've been up to in the past week and a half are:
Working with Roman aka Joe- helping him clear his land on the mountain, plant aloe vera, get bit by vicious bugs, discover way too many spiders and beetles, keeping him company and speaking life into him. (He has been very appreciative of our help and is so sweet to us. He makes us food and delicious teas.)
Bible studies with Ben (our contact)- Bible studies consist of the bible, dialogue, watching preachings and inspirational clips.
Street evangelism- skits and dances by the youth and testimonies from us.
Church..
Meeting people on the street or in stores- praying for them and showing them the love of Jesus.
Next week I think we will have some different projects. Please continue to pray for our team in the last few weeks of our journey!
A few of my wonderful team mates :)
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 4/11/2011
Well I can't believe it but we are finished our 11th country!! Not quite done yet though haha, still one more to go. 1 month- 30 days. Craziness. My emotions are torn between being ecstatic to see my friends and family- still missing Honduras like crazy- and knowing that it will be so hard to say good bye to my squad family. So much love going around!
This past weekend we went to San Miguel to visit another branch of the church we have been working with us. It was a really fun experience! The pastors and congregation were so loving and hosptiable.
On Friday they took us to a beach where I spent my time walking along the shore collecting shells. I met a guy who was fishing and he would go find all sorts of creatures in the ocean and bring them to me so I could take pictures :) Amazing!
When we got back there were some kids digging through the dumpster beside the hotel we were staying at. Tracy and I went over to talk with them and ended up staying for quite a while. They were so precious! They told us that they were searching for mangos to sell at their parents fruit store. Ridiculous. Kids should not be digging through dumpsters :(
On Saturday we had a youth service and evangelism. During lunch the pastor and his wife decided that I was there fourth daughter and tried to convince me to stay with them! So sweet haha. On Sunday we had church and led Sunday school for the kids. We were so blessed by the people in San Miguel and it was so wonderful to make so many new friends.
Oh yeah! On Thursday Alberto took us to these waterfalls that were beyond gorgeous! Like a fairy tale.We got to swim in the clear cold water and explore the jungle :)
Each day here has made my time more and more enjoyable. Although it has not been like any other it has definitely been a wonderful experience and I am so grateful for all the love and hospitality that we've been shown and the opportunity to meet so many amazing people!
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 4/6/2011
What a dear sweet lady. The first night we had Pan y chocolate I spotted a bundle across the street that looked like it had someone in it. I'm pretty sure God spotted her out to me. Andrea, Mary and a couple of the guys from church came over there with us. She was beautiful. I loved her from the moment I saw her. Do I believe in love at first sight? Yes. I believe God gives us that ability. We chatted with her for a while, gave her some food and prayed with her as she cried. Her Spanish was really hard to understand. As we walked away the boys with us said "she's loco." Sigh :(
It was really sad because the second time we saw her she started talking to Andrea like she was someone from her past. Andrea said something to her and she said, "no you died in the war on the street behind us."
Last night was ourthird time seeing her and the highlight of my night as always. She always holds our hands the whole time it's really sweet. When we got there I told her "Te amo" (I love you.) And she looked at me, smiled and said "Te amo." My heart melted.
Our visit was similar to the others but this time we sang "Sanctuary" with her. The first time we sang by ourselves but by the end she had closed her eyes and sang along with us, so we sang a second time and she sang along. I have no idea if she even knew the song, but she definitely didn't know English.
Maria has no family and she sits alone, away from all of the other homeless people. She is a tiny fragile woman covered in wrinkles. This woman should be at home surrounded by grandchildren, loved and cared for by her family. She has no one to love her but Jesus. I wonder when the last time was that someone said "Te amo" to her. It breaks my heart. I wonder how cold she is at night, how scared she is alone on the streets in the darkness, how sad it is being alone in the world, and seeing people from her past who are dead. If only I could take her home with me, love her and take care of her the way she deserves.
I hope to see her again before we leave but I'm not sure if I'll be able to :( I'm so thankful that she has Jesus in her heart so she's not completely alone.
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 4/6/2011
How can you feel so connected to someone, have so much love for them when you hardly know them- If you've only seen them twice and don't even remember their name? It happens so easily and yet every time it catches me by surprise. Maybe it surprises me the most when I haven't given my all or felt like I haven't done much to enable it to happen. God is so good to me. He does some amazing things and I think this is one of them.
One of our ministries this month was Pan y Chocolate- Bread and (hot) chocolate although it was usually soup lol. Most of the time we went to the streets and homeless shelters, but we went to the hospital once and jail last week and this week.
It felt almost wrong being at jail. Like we were at the zoo staring at animals behind the cages. And I'm sure there are people in this world who would consider them animals- who knows what they've done to be thrown there. But they aren't animals. They are people. People with feelings, the need for love and filled with so much potential. I think God is showinng me how we are all equal in God's eyes because when I look at these people I no longer see what they've done or see the circumstances they're in or what they're doing with their life but how their lives could be transformed. When I look at them rather than placing judgement I see who they could be. I see how loved they are by the King, I see the way He could take their broken lives and give them a testimony that will impact so many others. Maybe that's why it felt wrong. There were bars between us. Bars that called out in the darkness, unworthy, hopeless, scum, undeserving, prisoner to sin-shame-and whatever life held them captive. Those bars put us on the "better than them side." I should have been behind those bars too. We all should have. There should be bars between us and Jesus that screamed out worthless, hopeless, sinners. But there aren't. We've been set free. God wants them to be set free too.
Some of the girls in there were my age and they had children at home that were 6 years old and 2 years old. They are ordinary people like us who have made some bad choices. Every woman in that jail cell is beautiful, worthy, loved-forgiven. As we talked with them and shared verses with them the bars disappeared, suddenly there was nothing seperating us. Suddenly the only thing that was important was that these women knew Jesus. Knew His love and that He doesn't call them sinner but beloved. Leaving was hard. Harder than I thought. I love these women that I don't even know and I will probably never see them again. Did they understand what we tried to tell them? Did we say enough? Did we take every opportunity we had?
So many times I have to be reminded that it's not in my hands but God's.
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 4/6/2011
One of the churches we're working with this month has it's own radio and television station. All of their services are on tv and go over the radio. They asked for three people to give their testimony over the radio and I was one of the ones who went. However, when we got there they said "You guys are going on tv." We laughed like it was a joke. (I was putting make up on before we left and Alberto said to me "Let's go! You're not gonna be on tv!") Apparently we were. It wasn't a joke. We had two 7 minute incraments to fill up. Lili answered questions and translated for Rose and I. I talked about Vietnam and our trip into the mountain. God gave me the words because I had no time to prepare what I was going to say. No notes or anything. I was freaking out at first but once I was talking it went pretty well. I think they are posting pictures and maybe the interview on the internet so I will look into it and hopefully you can watch it! .
Apparently I've been on the radio too without knowing it haha. It`s crazy the things we end up doing on the race.
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 4/5/2011
On Friday for our off day we went to the beach. Lili had found a hostel on the best surfing beach in El Salvador. The great thing about this beach was that it was difficult to get to so it was pretty much deserted! We were supposed to leave on Thursday night but didn't end up leaving until Thursday morning at 530 am. First we were told it would only take 45 mins- then 2 hrs- then 21/2. In reality it took about 3ish. Overcast skies brought my excitement down a little but I told God I would really appreciate sun even if it was just in the afternoon. He answered if only for half an hour it meant the world to me :) My morning was spent frolocking in the waves, laying on the hot sand and exploring with Sarah. In the afternoon Lili and I took a surf lesson together, facing our fears and the waves. Let me tell you it looks easy but it is exhausting! I wasn't out there for long and I collapsed on the beach part way through. I did manage to stand up a couple times yahoo! I also got to lay on the board and ride it to shore which was super fun too. Our instructer was a really sweet man who was very patient and helpful. I almost didn't go but am so glad I did! Surfing is definitely something I want to do again!
After surfing we watched as a hot pink oval in the sky shone through the film of clouds. Slowly it became a large circle with clouds streaking across it making stripes. As the clouds broke and the sun disappeared it left a trail of pink and purple to contrast with the pale blue sky.
Andrea got the crazy idea to have a mud fight, well.. wet sand fight haha. That was a blast.
The next morning we did yoga in the ocean!
All in all the day was relaxing and thrilling. Exactly what I needed :) If you ever have any hesitation I encourage you to try it!
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Posted in El Salvador by Ashley van Houttum on 3/30/2011
The first week in El Salvador was a really hard transition for me. Honduras was quiet and peaceful... well when the boys weren't blasting their reggaetone music haha which they loved to do, but even then there was somewhere to escape it. El Salvador is vastly different. The house we are living in has two tvs and a radio which usually happen to be on all at the same time- each trying to drown each other out. We are living in a gorgeous house with a family of 6 and have gone from a huge backyard and plenty of space to roam to a neighborhood. I'm not necessarily saying it's bad, just different. An adjustment.
Alberto and Mariella are our contacts this month. They have three sons and a daughter. A few words I would use to describe Alberto are jokester, loving, hospitable, selfless. Mariella is thoughtful, a great cook, loving, and nurturing. Their kids are precious and lots of fun.
Even though are contacts are amazing I had a really hard first week. I think it might have been the hardest on the race. I didn't want to leave Honduras, I was tired, I didn't want to put my all in again and have a hard good bye, changes were being made to our plans for next month that I didn't like and I thought it would be so much easier to coast through the month. I wanted to be justified in how I was feeling. God was telling me that I'm here for a reason but I didn't want to listen. I just wanted to cry and feel sorry for myself I guess. I've been going for 10 months so is it really a big deal for me to coast through one month? Don't I deserve this? Besides we're almost finished now anyways.
I was being selfish. My actions and thoughts were focused on me, me, me and I didn't care much how it affected other people or maybe I just didn't think about it. I just wanted to be wrapped up in my own little world worrying about only me and how awful everything was. Is this what I signed up for? But I didn't come on this trip to coast, it was to grow closer to God. When thinking about giving things up for God the first thoughts that pops into my head aren't my bad attitude or selfish desires to sit in my "justified feelings". I guess I don't really think about having to give those up. Definitely not easy. And I'm not saying that it wasn't okay for me to be upset about things or to miss the previous month but there is also a time to move on and let it go.
I've been doing a lot better the past few days :) Laughter and ridiculousness has helped. I've also started to build relationships with the family and I'm enjoying most of the ministry we're doing here. Our schedule is scattered and random but here are a few things we've done so far:
Devotionals at school which consist of skits, testimonies, songs and games.
Pan y Chocolate- Bread and Chocolate, a ministry that goes out twice a week and feeds the homeless. A couple of the girls and I met a precious old lady named Maria who lives on the streets. We've gotten to see her twice now and talk with her a little.
Testimonies and introductions at church(which were on the radio) and being a part of Sunday school.
Learning skits for evangelism.
Talking with and praying for people in the hospital.
Genesis is a program for poor kids in the community that are sent to school, fed and clothed by the church. Yesterday we went thinking that we would just hang out with the kids and when we got there they told our translator that we had a schedule planned haha. Nothing like spur of the moment.
On our off day one of the many pastors took us to climb a Volcano it was incredible! It took about 2 hours to get to the top and 1 down. The hike was gorgeous and so was the actual volcano top. We talked about what we would do if it started blowing up and thought of some ridiculous ideas. (My idea was to quickly turn on video on my camera and video tape some of the explosion and before the lava hit me, take out the memory card and swallow it. However, I was informed that my body would be completely melted... dang).
Andrea and I at the top.
Picture of the day: Jonathan making the face of eruption, holding a volcanic rock that says ERUPT.
The next week and a halfish will be more of the same and a few other random things.
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